the GOLDEN oldies

i don't really see what the big deal is with getting old. you get some wrinkles, and your bones hurt. so what? take some asprin. think about all the years you had young. i want to date, i want to travel, i want to discover, i want to fall in love, i want to have children, i want to go to college, i want to get a career i love, i want to do so many things. how can someone possibly learn anything about life and the world around us if they do not live it for as long as possible. there isn't even enough time in one lifetime to learn all the secrets. And I'm not saying i would never die young, but i honestly can't imagine anything i could achieve by dying for that's more important than what i can learn by living.

Sid

In Siddhartha, Siddhartha weaves through and around many ideas and theories about life, and what it means to "find" yourself. By the end of the book, you realize that it is really impossible to "find" yourself because you're yourself all along. you just have to wait for you to show you yourself.(jeez, right?) how ironic that in western civilization they push the exact opposite idea. Right from the begining, your parents are getting you ready. ready to become something, become someone. And then they pass you off to your teachers who guide you, but also push the idea that there are so many things you have to do to become a someone. They prepare you for places that will prepare you for places...and so on and so forth. But you are who you are and no one can teach you that but yourself. you cant be anything other than who you are no matter what you know, or who you know. And as much as westerers stive to be someone, it seems kind of silly because we've all been someone all along.

how i measure my life. high school.

dreary days and fast paced nights
mark their end at the sound of a bell
and at the alarm, to your surprise
the sun had already risen
puffy eyes and crusty lips
your stiff joints move down the hall

another instant and you head is pounding
and these violent seconds bring a jolting end
to a moment that, like all moments,
tick away towards the end of your life

each heartbeat
is a heartbeat had
and a heartbeat you'll never get back
so as the siren is screaming
its just another moment
and just another moment had

icons

well, there it is. starin' right at ya. do you know what it is? of course you do. its the same image thrown in your face almost everywhere you go...whether you realize it or not. you dont have to be christian to know the story, either. the whole "jesus died for your sins upon the cross" shpeal. but whose to say it still upholds that vision today? i doubt if every guy with a cross tattooed on his chest is tributing jesus, or every girl who wears a crusifix on her neck is a christian. the fact is, the cross was around long before jesus died...or even lived. throughout history, the cross has represented health, fertility, the four directions (north, south, east, west), the four seasons, the four elements, the human form, the universe... the list could literally go on forever. how is one to distinguish between one meaning or the other? in todays society, icons like the cross are thrust upon us with ideas and feeling behind them. each bit of information told with these images sticks with you, most of the time without notice. but its these moments that mold the vision we hold to these objects today.

first post. about me?

untitled.
by saul williams

she asked that i remove my dreams
before entering her home
one cannot enter a courtroom bearing arms
i had decided to sharpen the edges
of a certain childhood fantacy
and tuck it away in my sock
emotional lavishness
can deplete memory banks
although her parents saved and saved
she knew no baptism
which is no fault
unless you have a christian name
i do not trust her
my plan was to attack in the 43 seconds
that it takes eyes
to adjust to moonlight
after lights out
no one told me
that dreams glow i the dark


and also...


"The things you're looking for, Montag, are in the world, but the only way the average chap will ever see ninety-nine percent of them is in a book.”

-fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury

the poem is from a book i read once in seventh grade. for some reason it always stuck with me. i know i dont know what it means, but i have a feeling im goning to understand it someday...maybe..ha.
I love books. of course i could'nt remember any of them when i needed quotes, but Bradbury's writings some up a good deal of my feelings about them. I like experiencing life from someone elses pont of view every one in a while, and i think reading a lot has improved my learning skills as a whole. god i sound like a nerd.
forgive my lameness,
elizabeth